SAIFEENA MEDIA CRAZE CAUSES THE COUPLE TO SPLIT (Humour/spoof)

Saifeena, Bollywood’s hottest couple, has reached a new peak in attracting media attention and is abstaining from seeing each other in order to avoid dangerous consequences.

Just last week no less, Kareena and her beau set foot outside to buy some snacks for guests who had dropped by unexpected. The pair unfortunately had to run back empty handed as a stampede of paparazzi followed their every step, causing an earthquake of 3 degrees on the Richter scale throughout the swank Bandra suburb.

  

While Saif Ali Khan loudly expressed his discontent, Kareena Kapoor remained calm, is avoiding a grumpy Saif until he gets his act together and immediately consulted specialists in order  to  avoid  this type of media incident in the future.

At a press conference this morning, the actress said: “After yesterday’s unfortunate incident, I feel that Saif and I need to cooperate more with the media in order to curb their avid curiosity. If Saifeena ever plans to get married, I will be the first to provide paparazzi with the date and details even before I let Saif in on any information”.

The chotte nawab remains unavailable for comment.

And with this spoof / humour article we end our May Fools weekend series, hope you all enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed posting each week. A big thank you to Praveer and Joanna,  who played along beautifully. Keep smiling!

HRITHIK FAN HAS PLASTIC SURGERY (Humour/spoof article)

A man nearly drowned today in a river near his home. The man, identified as Narcissus Papadopoulos, had just been released from a post-surgical unit after receiving a plastic surgery procedure to look like his favorite actor, Hrithik Roshan. “He is a long-time fan of Hrithik,” said neighbor Achilles Argyros.

“There was an open casting call for a film starring Hrithik Roshan after the release of 'Kites' and they needed a look-a-like. Narcissus thought it was the chance of a lifetime, but looked nothing like Hrithik. He made the crazy decision to have the surgery, ignoring the desperate pleas of his friends and family.”

A soaking wet and embarassed Narcissus admitted that couldn’t stop staring at his reflection. “I thought it really was Hrithik staring back at me from the water. I reached out to get his autograph and I fell in.” No word from Hrithik Roshan regarding whether he will file a copyright infringement suit.

Spoof article by: Joanna

AKSHAY KUMAR TO WOW AUDIENCES WITH 4-D SEQUEL TO “Heyy Babyy” (Humour/spoof)

Rumors have been flying around Akshay Kumar’s loyal fandom in anticipation of an amazing follow-up to the super hit “Heyy Babyy” which shall release this spring. The film promises to be a first in Indian cinema. Always wanting to reach for the next level, Akshay Kumar is bringing the innovative magic of 4-D technology to a theatre near you.

Although the much awaited sequel follows a familiar story-line chocked full of handsome heroes, gorgeous heroines, and plenty of masala drama mixed in with slapstick comedy, this time AK promises to bring you an experience like no other. Sources close to Kumar’s camp tell us that the film is definitely going to make audiences a part of the action: from sneezing to wheezing to coughing, “Hayy Feverr” indeed promises to give audiences a “blast” of excitement.

“Avatar in 3-D was nice,” says the actor, “but I think my film can definitely hold its own against the blue people.” He later added, “I always want to leave my audiences with something special after they leave the Cineplex, so this time the effect will prove to be quite… contagious.”

These tidbits should keep audiences on the edge of their multiplex seats for the much awaited sequel. Be sure to bring an umbrella, as the film sneezes its way into theatres near the end of spring pollen season 2010.

Spoof article by: Joanna (edited by Aline CineHindi)

We hope you are enjoying the spoof (fake) May Fools articles. Do come back for more next weekend! Last but not least, your comments are what give us the fire to write. Keep us burning. :-)

FAN SPENDS TORTUROUS TWO HOURS WITH AAMIR IN PARIS (Humour/Spoof)

Picture taken by: Zeineb - aamir-khan.net

Paris (PTI)

A meeting with the famous superstar Aamir Khan is a dream come true for many, but for this fan it was anything but pleasurable. The fan who requested that his name be withheld to avoid ridicule, recalled the fateful meeting with the star.

"We were led into this big room at the hotel. The table had some beverages and cookies set out, and I helped myself while waiting for Aamir." The fan who admitted to having consumed a large Diet Coke en route to the meet, said that drinking two cups of tea was a huge mistake.

"Just as I was getting up to go to the bathroom Aamir entered and all else was forgotten. We chatted and then drank some more tea offered by Aamir."

The fan claims to have spent the final two hours in some discomfort and pain. "I did not want to leave the room as I did not want to miss a single second of this once in a lifetime chance."

The fan who made a beeline for the toilet as soon as the meet ended claims to have run into Aamir as he was exiting the toilet.

As of press time the fan could not recall whether he had left the toilet seat up or down for the Indian superstar.

Spoof article by: Praveer

We hope you have enjoyed our 2nd spoof article of the month. Keep checking the blog each weekend of May for more fun.
Our first spoof article featured Salman Khan and may be found here.

TWITTER: A New Menace Looms over Bollywood’s Tinsel Town (Humour/Spoof)

Given that the Hindi Cinema Blog did not celebrate April Fools' Day properly and we were really missing it, we have decided to give our readers an amusing month of May with one spoof article per weekend. We hope you enjoy each weekend with us! :-) 

Twitter’s popularity among Indian film celebrities seems to be on the rise with the likes of Shah Rukh Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Shammi Kapoor and Deepika Padukone actively posting status updates for the joy of their fans and the fellow film fraternity. Cocky messages, spats or even alleged love affairs spotted on Twitter have therefore been making the joys of entertainment journalists, who have come to rely on this specific social network as a great bread-earning opportunity.

The medical research department at the Mumbai Health Association have however expressed growing concern and suspicion following a strange incident involving none other than actor Salman Khan.

Bollywood’s rebel child was reportedly rushed to Bhabha Hospital in Bandra after having suffered what seemed to be several insect bites that left him in a confused state. After much research, the offending bug was identified as Gryllus Twitterea (commonly known as Twitterbug). Bandra police strongly suspects the species to have been bred by a handful of ambitious journalists in need of fresh updates from Bollywood’s highest ranking stars. No antidote has been found yet for Twitterbug bites. Police therefore advice all actors and actresses who cherish their privacy to proceed to inspect and fumigate their homes.

Despite tight security, Salman Khan has escaped the hospital following the incident and has reportedly opened a Twitter account.

GHAJINI Statue Leaves Medical Experts Concerned

Aamir Khan's woes regarding the new version of the Ghajini mini statue are apparently not over. After a series of protests broke out in Maharashtra against the statue's release date, which commemorated a historical defeat of the Bombay cricket team, customers who have purchased the doll are massively returning to shops and requesting a refund.

Reports reveal that once the doll has been functioning for 15 minutes, its various features start to fail. A long time female fan of Aamir Khan returned the doll upon claims that it had tried to shove two Koiba marbles down her nostrils after she had played with it shortly.

Another sobbing teenager protested, "The dolly tried to strangle me because I was unable to sing the karaoke line 'Chaal dagmag mag dagmag mag huyee' fast enough for it to tilt its pelvis in synch".

Specialists are still unsure but suspect a severe case of paranoia and short term memory loss syndrome, which would be the first to ever have affected the toy community.

Aamir Khan is currently unavailable for comment.

GHAJINI Statue Designers Strike Back

Ghajini is once again set to take the market by storm as a new version of the Ghajini mini statue is all set for launch. Seemingly, actor Aamir Khan was extremely unsatisfied with the first version and expressed fiery discontent against its designers for not having added all of the features he had in mind.

The detail-oriented star has personally taken all decisions regarding the statue's new version. The new doll will not only teach 3 different dance moves: spinning, clicking heels and pelvic tilts, but will also play Koiba and be able to remove and change all the stickers in a mixed Rubik’s Cube, helping its owner "solve" it in 25 seconds flat.

Aamir Khan Productions remains mum about additional features but a relevant source has revealed that the statue will also include a karaoke function and the ability to issue fake ski certificates.

The Bangalorean designers who created the first version of the doll resent the actor, who has only agreed to let them choose the new product's release date. In reaction to the star's controlling ways, they have set the release for March 15, in honour of the historical date in which Karnataka beat Bombay on 1st innings to win the cricket Ranji Trophy in 1983.

Aamir Khan has dismissed any rumors of revenge against his design team.